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Friday, November 21, 2008
Should I consider to let go this workplace grudge?
Lately i feel so irritate with people in the office. I don't understand the way they think. Some of them are prejudice towards another. For instance, this so and so doesn't like the other so and so because of this and this. For the past few years I have seen some changes in the faces who "enjoy" gossiping about colleagues and backstabbing. I have no idea what happened to their "head", I have not seen her around anymone and I don't want to know what the heck happened to her la la la.. I had been one of their victims about one and half year ago. I could remember how horrible it was. It so happened that I tried to ignore it but it just gotten from bad to worse. When I wanted to pray at the prayer room, they will started gossiping and the small talk was surely about me. It was so painful inside, I feel like every night before I turned in I would think how miserable those morons are. Thank God I have my husband by my side who always motivates me. He always reminds me not to act as stupid as those morons. And now there's a new colleague of mine came in this company about a few months ago. She has now become the next victim. Everytime she tells me about her situation, it reminds me of the worst nightmare that I had been into last year. It's so bad, my mind keeps recalling whatever harsh and cruel words that were said to me. I admit that the wound is not healed yet even after the next zillion years I would never FORGET what you scums did to me and everyone else. And I will not redha of every single words you people said from the beginning until this moment onwards, I'll seek for justice in akhirat. I'm not a mean person, I'm not a person that finds it hard to forgive, I do not hold grudge, but I feel that what they did to me is unforgiveable.
Posted at 03:05 pm by nurafz
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008
4th September 2008 = 4 Ramadhan 1428, at 5.31 am my baby girl was born at Putrajaya Hospital. Chronology 3rd September 9.00 pm: I did not feel any pain, suddenly my water broke at Week 33. I have no idea how's this air ketuban look like, suddenly I feel something leaking down there when I was about to perform isyak prayer. I could never imagine that it was such a huge gush until double pads I wore were fully soaked. Then I rang Dr. Ummul to seek for her advice. She said " Minta maaf Puan, Puan tak cukup bulan, saya tengok rekod Puan baru 33 minggu, Puan pegi la ke mana-mana hospital kerajaan yang terdekat yer." 9.30pm: We rushed to Putrajaya Hospital. As far as I remembered, my husband drove at 140km/hr! Then I realized that I wet our car seat huhu! luckily I wore a dark coloured cloth so nobody could notice that at the back of my cloth was already darn wet. 10.00pm: I hate this part the most, registration! I wonder I it took such a long time to register, again I wet the chair when I was sitting at the counter. After quite some time they ask me to come in, but my husband had to wait outside, poor hubby  Luckily I brought over the pink book. See, how important the book is, even though you if you go to private hospital for your antenatal you must register to any government clinic so that they could check your record. Like my case, I plan to deliver at Umra, but since my baby was premature they didn't want to take the risk. The pink book comes in handy, doctor and nurses could check your baby development and your family health history. 11.30pm: When I was placed in the first room, I was expecting a doctor to come, then after quite some time only a male doctor showed up. He asked me a few questions, such as, Puan nama apa, keja ke? Anak ke berapa?..bla bla so on and so forth. Then, here comes the most unconfortable part, the doctor said " Sori yer, saya nak periksa kat bawah, mungkin akan rasa tak selesa sikit". I just nodded. Malu?Sapa tak rasa malu, malu sangat tapi tepis je perasaan tu huar huar.The male doctor inserted his fingers with sterile glove to suck sample of the water. Eww.. it was an awful feeling. 12.00pm: I think I could feel a mild contraction. This pain is kind of similar to what I feel when I experience D&C procedure during my previous pregnancy. I was moved to the second room. A female doctor came and when she touched my tummy it was so darn hard. She said "Eh ni dah ada contraction, kerasnya". Then after they did the scanning, the male doctor said it was time to check your cervix. Ouch, not again! Then he said the dilation was 2cm, which means I might deliver the baby tomorrow morning. But then, they did not to place me at the ward because they wanted to monitor me from time to time, so I was placed at the labour room. I was a bit weird, that so called labour room did not look like one, (since I had experienced being in a labour room before). 3.00am: I tried to sleep but contractions are getting harder, once in a few minutes. Dengan penuh keselambaan the doctor said, " Tunggu kejap yer, kejaaaappp jer, saya nak pegi minum". Then all the staff went to have take sahur and I was left alone, an in pain huwaaa... One of the nurses said before she left, " Kalau ada apa-apa tekan je button ni yer." Sigh :( While I was left alone, I felt fear shivering through my spine as I heard the noise and screaming coming from other labour room. My husband was told to go home first, so sad enough he couldn't be by my side  Without husband and nobody besides you, what else should I do other than praying to Allah that everything is going to be alright. 4.00 am: This time suddenly I felt a pain that was beyond description! I quickly pressed the red button and a moment later a nurse showed up. I told her that I feel like I want to poop. Without any hesitation, she checked my cervix and it was already 9 cm dilation! To my surprise I was kind of shock when she said have to push right away without waiting for the doctor. A moment later the doctor turned up and he took over the nurse's role. He taught me how to push. At first it was kind of difficult for me to do it since this is my first experience hehe..Alhamdulillah finally I could do it after a few practices. While I was pushing, suddenly I could feel a cut! Ouchhh this must be the episiotomy procedure! 5.30 am: As the head crowned, the doctor asked me to push just once, adoi larr I didn't eat anything since my water broke, how could I have such strength! Alhamdulillah at 5.31 am my baby girl was born. 6.00 am-6.30 am: This half and hour was for SEWING time! Awwww.. What I could say is this is more painful than the contrations! Alhamdulillah, everything went on smoothly even though my EDD (Expecting Due Date) is on 15th October. I sent sms to my mother telling her about this shocking news. Hearing about it she was shocked and cried about it. My baby was admitted at Putrajaya NICU for about 1 week, then she was admitted again at Hospital Sultan Abdul Halim NICU for another 1 week due to jaundice and infection. Doctors said that premature babies are prone to catch infections huuuu  What cause this premature labour? As far as I'm concerned if you're too active this might be one of the factors. One week before hari raya my baby was discharged from HSAH Sungai Petani, then only for the rest of my confinement period was spent at home
Posted at 04:45 pm by nurafz
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Friday, August 29, 2008
Week 33: Is it just me or is getting a little
Fetal development in pregnancy week 33: For all the weight and bulk you're lugging around these days, you'd think your little champ should weigh much more than a mere 5 lbs and measly 17 inches in height, but nope, that's about the average size for a baby in its thirty-third week. In terms of appearances, they're getting cuter and pudgier every minute as they pile on the baby fat for those adorable little wrist rolls and chubby toes. And as we're sure you've already noticed they're getting stronger with every passing day. Nowadays, it's possible to observe a well-placed kick just by watching your belly—but you already knew that didn't you? Although they're getting stronger, your bigger-by-the-day baby is losing space to move around, so the actual rate of movement will drop off in the last few weeks, despite that powerful drop-kick they've been working on. Hey, did you know you'll continue feeling their movements even during labor?
And how's mom doing? Here's a good way to deal with your mounting impatience: map out your plan of action for the big day. It's an important and necessary step that's also pretty soothing and fun. So, get out a piece of paper and pen. If you think about it, planning all the details now can be a real saving grace once the chaos and pain of labor starts up. This would include having a packed bag with a change of comfortable clothes, reading material, maybe an i-pod and your camera or camcorder (whichever you decide, if any at all). Know your driving route to the health center. Or if you're delivering at home, make sure you have the delivery room prepared (equipped with your most favorite soothing music), and all necessary instruments and materials ready for use. Of course, get your doctor or midwife on speed-dial. Massaging the perineum (the area around the vagina) can reduce your chance of it tearing during delivery and there's no time like the present to start. Be on your toes (not literally, just mentally) as it's now totally conceivable you might have to spring into action any day! Then again, it might still be another seven weeks.
Posted at 10:03 am by nurafz
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Week 32: Mommy, you're HOT!

fetus in eighth month
Fetal development in pregnancy week 32: In the latest womb reports, your amazing baby has now developed sensitivity to temperature! This means you'll probably get a swift kick if you put a hot pad on your ginormous belly. For the Elton John lovers out there-- yes, baby's got blue eyes. At this point, all babies do, although depending on their chromosomal disposition, this could easily change after birth (or even between now and labor), but for the time being, blue it is. Thanks to their recently matured lungs and a remarkably strong immune system, over 90% of babies born in their 32nd week, survive premature births. So it's pretty much a done deal. Even if your little monkey's planning on heading out early, their survival odds are in everyone's favor. Time to celebrate (no, no, wait until after the birth to crack open the champagne!) We're talking baby-showers and alcohol-free punch!
And how's mom doing? If your family or significant other is around and involved, it's probably time to start discussing what's going to happen when you really go into labor. Of course, the delivery itself can be quite overwhelming for first-time viewers, so make sure and openly discuss the fact there will be blood, sweat, mucous, and possibly even a bit of poop (if you didn't know already, it's likely that while in labor and pushing, you also push out a bit of the ol' number 2—it's totally normal if not a little disgusting). Even the weak-stomached birthing buddies can still help to make the labor-process more bearable with breathing assistance, massages, and constant reassurance and cheering: "Yay! That was a great contraction honey!" (Now run! Before she breaks your wrist!). For the more blood-bold and not so faint of heart, the positions of cameraman, baby-catcher, and/or umbilical cord-cutter are always available—just talk to your doctor or mid-wife beforehand so they can be prepared to deal with an extra person during the birthing process.
Surprise! Your third trimester symptoms aren't going away yet. If you just got back from peeing, you already know that your bladder is nearing non-existent-land. These joys will persist till you're on the birthing bench. Also, be careful of lightheadedness during these last weeks. Your blood tends to pool in the lower limbs, resulting in low cranial blood pressure. So, watch out for the head rushes and get up nice-n-slow after sitting for long periods.
Posted at 10:50 am by nurafz
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Friday, August 15, 2008
Week 31: Another day... another ounce
Fetal development in pregnancy week 31:
Your not-so-little-one is just a bit closer to their birth weight and height at around 4 pounds and 17 inches. With each added layer of baby fat, your baby's skin starts to look more and more like it will when they finally get to see the light of day. The heavy news: you can expect your miracle-gro muffin to gain about a half a pound of weight per week from now until about two weeks before birth. Great. That's just what you needed. Even more weight to carry around! Your baby's still-developing immune system has gained substantial strength over the past few weeks getting them in full gear to face our disease-ridden world o' wonders. Obviously, a large majority of your child's immune strength will be derived from exposure to breast milk as well as the outside elements. Their cute little noggin' (which could already be covered with luscious locks or just purty peach fuzz), is still soft because the skull bones have not yet fused together. As much as that sounds a little too vulnerable, their "skull softness" allows for a much smoother passage through the birth canal during labor—something both you and your little swimmer will appreciate when it's finally time to "go!" Also, some babies will have that "soft spot" on their head for up to one year after birth.
And how's mom doing? Have you felt anything you suspect might be contractions already? Braxton-Hick contractions are part and parcel of the second half of pregnancy and lucky for you, become more frequent during the third trimester. Cleverly dubbed "false labor" contractions, these spasms are an obnoxious fake-out and shouldn't be confused with premature labor. The fun part of having BH contractions is that it's not unusual for them to be painful... and by fun, we mean "why oh why, does the third trimester mean everything is uncomfortable?" Still, just a heads up: if you notice the contractions more than four times in one hour, or even more glamorous—changes in your vaginal discharge, call your healthcare practitioner right away. As for other third-trimester niceties; your nipples may be engaging in a bit of "pre-milk" expulsion at the most untimely moments. So next time you've got yourself a pair of damp head-lights in the grocery store, just go ahead and purchase the nursing pads to protect your clothes, bras, and any remaining shreds of dignity you can salvage. As your magical growing baby obstinately refuses to shrink or give back any real-estate in your belly, you can sit back, "relax," and take in the heartburn and increased lower back pain. If you choose, you can always eat less with each meal, and instead opt for smaller more frequent meals, this should help the heartburn. As for your poor back, get off your feet and elevate them above your heart, double-check the names list, and how many key baby-items you've already got in your registry. If you're lucky, you might just make it in less than eight weeks! Hang in there wonder-mom, we believe in you!
Posted at 10:23 am by nurafz
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Friday, August 08, 2008
Week 30: Goodbye monkey baby, hello roly
Fetal development in pregnancy week 30:
The light is visible at the end of the tunnel! Your oversized self and amazing growing baby have finally reached the single digits (in terms of weeks till birth)! The fine lanugo hair that has been growing all over their little monkey-like body is going to start falling off this week in preparation for the big day. But don't be shocked if they're hairier than you'd anticipated, some babies keep their lanugo until after birth. Still, it's not any cause to be concerned as it will fall off eventually. No surprises here: your little porker is getting even cuter with increasingly pudgy arms and legs this week thanks to the ever-growing layers of subcutaneous fat. In terms of numbers, your baby should be weighing in at around 3 pounds 12 ounces (or more!) and be nearly 16 inches long. And how's mom doing? On a very serious note: you should make sure to determine both you and your baby's blood type. It's extremely important for everyone. In the case that you and your maturing babe's blood types don't match there's a chance you could produce antibodies that could potentially attack and harm a future fetus. It is rare, but with modern medicine, the problem is easily corrected and little cause for concern if dealt with properly. As for the ongoing joys of being in your third trimester: your not-so-fun symptoms are just intensifying this week, so it might not hurt to slow down a bit and focus on yourself. If you're feeling extra fatigued, you've probably joined the sleeping shouldn't be this tough when I'm this tired club, especially if you're experiencing a lot of back pain and general discomfort. If you've been pushing the exercise thing, then this is the time perhaps to cut down on the physical activities and focus more on getting proper sleep (if this means buying a pregnancy pillow, then do it!). Oh and all that moodiness? Just go with the flow emotionally. This doesn't mean letting the hormones win and becoming a complete psychotic. Instead, feel the feelings, but know that the drama you're feeling is largely a result of increased adrenaline thanks indirectly to hormonal swings—not because things really are that dramatic and merit adult temper tantrums. The clincher symptom for this week: it's highly likely your libido has gone on sabbatical. This, as far as we're concerned, is perfectly natural in your condition.
Posted at 10:05 am by nurafz
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Friday, August 01, 2008
Week 29: To pee or not to pee..
Fetal development in pregnancy week 29: If you've been feeling butterflies moving around in your belly, it's not just your run-of-the-mill pre-birth performance anxiety. No, it's your amazing baby with a case of the hiccups: a fairly common occurrence at this point resulting from practicing breathing for their big birthday. In addition, to getting a round of butterfly-like hiccups, your little swimmer has arduously managed to accumulate enough baby fat to account for nearly 3.5% of their overall body weight. Yeah, compared to we adults, it's not a lot, but when they're little like that—it's certainly a healthy (and warming) accomplishment in its way. Another fantastic accomplishment: your baby's spleen is now in charge of hematopoiesis—the 10 dollar name for the process involved in building up certain important blood components. Another fantastic-accomplishment: your little monkey has been peeing into their amniotic sac for a little while now (this is why potty training takes a while) and if you didn't know, actually swallows it along with the rest of the amniotic fluid. Although the concept is nasty, their urine is sterile and as part of the amniotic fluid base, is replaced several times throughout the day. So if you didn't know before, now you can tell people, that yes, you drank your own urine—you were still in the womb, but nonetheless, you've been there.
And how's mom doing? Here's another new-parenting-issue that you probably don't have the time or energy to handle: the decision whether or not to breastfeed. If you thought this was one of the obvious ones (stick out breast, attach child, feeding commences!), think again. Right off the bat, there are women that simply cannot breastfeed for medical reasons—and have no choice in the matter but to opt for formula-feeding. Then there are the women who attempt to breast-feed and run out of milk, or the baby won't latch on (they even have breast-feeding classes because despite the apparent animal-easiness of the behavior, some babies just don't take to breastfeeding). Now, if you are planning or deciding whether or not to breastfeed, here are some of the big reasons why it's a great thing for you and your little "sucker": breastfeeding actually releases a hormone that will help you relax (and if you don't nurse milk production will actually cease: i.e. use it or lose it!). If you choose to breastfeed, your body will produce oxytocin—(no, not Oxycotin, Rush Limbaugh already took care of that), which actually increases uterine contractions to decrease post-birth vaginal bleeding. And the vain reason to breastfeed: all that charming excess body fat you've gained is used for milk production, thus making it MUCH easier for you to return to you pre-pregnancy weight. Also, nursing mothers' bones re-mineralize faster than those who don't and are less likely to contract ovarian or uterine cancer before and after menopause. Not to mention the fact that breastfeeding means you're directly bolstering your baby's immune system. For even more reasons why your child will benefit from breastfeeding, visit womenshealth.gov.
Posted at 10:14 am by nurafz
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Monday, July 28, 2008
Week 28: Why, you look positively bovine!
fetus in seventh month
Fetal development in pregnancy week 28: You know how you've been feeling a bit like a barn with legs? Well, that feeling won't subside before… well, you know, when you finally give birth. For the time being, you've got yourself a baby in the business of collecting fat and lots of it! In spite of the dubious joys of being a human-barn, this baby fat business is very serious and you've got to put up with it because it's going to keep your little porker warm and healthy after birth. Other good stuff from inside: their eyes are doing lots of blinking this week because they're now able to respond to light and dark. Also, their industrious little bone marrow is now a major construction site for developing red blood cells, while their super-cute adrenal glands are actually producing androgen and estrogen—which will stimulate your hormones to begin milk production. Can you say, "Moo?"
And how's mom doing? If you're not already fully entrenched, it's just about time to head into the Name Game field. If you haven't yet landed on "the perfect name", there are only about a trillion books (check them out at Amazon.com) and websites with head-spinning lists of name possibilities. You can always opt to invent a name as well (like say, "Thygor"). Obviously, naming isn't always the most straightforward or easy process and not every couple has a name for their child even after birth. Really, just take your time and try to consider any possible mean nicknames they might be inflicted with once they hit adolescence (i.e. What happens when you name your kid "Willy"?). As if we have to tell you: their little "cute" kicks are getting stronger these days, but just pay attention. If you notice a significant drop in the number of kicks experienced per hour it would be a good idea to tell your physician or mid-wife. But before you start getting anxious, keep in mind that during the final weeks of pregnancy your in-house-football player will be kicking significantly less as they will lack the space to move about as vigorously.
Posted at 03:41 pm by nurafz
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Friday, July 18, 2008
Week 27: I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it!
Fetal development in pregnancy week 27:
Your not-so-tiny-anymore brilliant baby(about 2 pounds and 14.5 inches long!) is slowly rotating in preparation to "head out." Obviously, this doesn't happen overnight, but when you start to feel an unfamiliar pressure on your cervix, you'll know you've got a fully flipped baby locked and loaded for the countdown to their birthday! Even now, at the beginning of the third trimester, their little lungs are already capable of breathing air while the pulmonary vascular system can provide sufficient gas exchange and the central nervous system can generally regulate rhythmic breathing as well as their basal body temperature. For what it's worth, at this point in a healthy pregnancy a premature child (with intensive care) could easily win on the show: "Survivor: The Early Years." And how's mom doing? You've worked hard, done your research, endured a plethora of joyless symptoms and would like nothing more than to have wonder-baby on the outside. Well, dig in for the final endurance round and say hello again to the familiar but not-so-lovable faces of fatigue and nausea. You guessed it, the dratted hormone factory is once again running at full-tilt (and causing rapid hair growth), sigh…. Your ("yaaaawn") fatigue stems from several factors, including the proverbial weight gain, shortness of breath and of course, sleep deprivation. (See week 29 for tips on how to alleviate fatigue!). Yes, ladies, you've finally reached the infamous "live-on-the-toilet" stage. Your feet are bigger, your breasts are bigger, your belly is bigger, even your baby is bigger—and something's gotta give. Annoyingly, nature didn't choose your butt and instead opted to compress your bladder, which is now being completely squashed by your-super-sized-baby... all day long. So your best shot is to just accept the fact you're going to need to urinate every 10 minutes (and if you manage to go longer, thank the good lord). Of course breast tenderness is also very common at this phase as milk production is kicking in. Other thrilling third-trimester symptoms include more swelling (known as edema) and feeling like you live in a sweat factory as a result of increased basal body temperature. Thank your baby: this temperature increase stems from their body heat coupling with your own, which of course all adds up to one hot mama! Just in case you don't have enough things to stress out about: we'd like to remind you the third trimester is really a time to kick your baby-on-the-outside preparations into high gear: baby-proof the home or apartment, buy a car-seat, get a stroller, dress up the nursery and plan a space for diapering, keep mulling over possible names, and try to enjoy this time… when you're not nauseous, constipated, running to the toilet, or just plain wiped out. (And don't forget to get your sleep, be active, and eat well! Phewee! we're tired just thinking about what you're going through!)
Posted at 12:38 pm by nurafz
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Friday, July 11, 2008
Fetal development in pregnancy week 26: At long last, your little swimmer can see the womb! Your miracle's little eyelids have finally separated (they were fused closed previously) and they're probably having their first moments of sight as you read this (or maybe it already happened while you were brushing your teeth or watching Oprah or something). In addition to seeing their little studio in your belly, they've recently acquired the ability to say "yes" and "no" in rudimentary sign language as they can now move their head back and forth. This is also the time where your little super star's head hair is starting to grow! A cute little cowlick or two may be springing into position right now, getting ready for years of cute-but-stubborn bed-head. Also, their toenails have grown in and you little raisin continues to slowly pile up fat beneath their still-loose skin. Most importantly, brain tissue and neurons are all developing at a rapid pace, increasing their (genius-level?) brain activity and will continue to function at accelerated levels for the first seven to eight years of childhood!
And how's mom doing? This is the final week of your second trimester. We won't go on and on about the joys of constipation, but if you're curious why you've got to put up with this much-less-than-fun blockage, it's basically because you're producing higher levels of progesterone, which relaxes muscle tissue throughout your entire body, including the G.I. tract and ultimately slows digestion down… waaaay down. Not to fear, there are plenty of natural remedies for the joys of constipation, including: increasing your standard fiber intake with fruits and veggies, oatmeal, or whole grains (such as millet, rye and wheat). Another way to get things moving "down there" is to get yourself moving! If you haven't been very active, try putting some time in walking or swimming. Increasing your general activity levels often inspires a bowel movement without requiring a suppository. Many women also experience restless and jittery legs during the second half of pregnancy. It's a common condition known as Restless Leg Syndrome (or RLS—not a very creative name). Cutting out caffeine, stretching your calf muscles slowly, and some nice and deep muscle massages are generally effective ways to help deal with RLS.
Posted at 11:56 am by nurafz
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| You Are 30% Weird |
Not enough to scare other people...
But sometimes you scare yourself. |
The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to obedience and warmth. |
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In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
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You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. |
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You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. |
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Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. |
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Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
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You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
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In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
Your Dominant Thinking Style: | | Visioning
You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.
You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.
An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.
You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum. | Your Secondary Thinking Style: | | Experimenting
You're all about looking at the facts, and you could always use more of them.
You see life as your lab - and you're always trying out new things, people, and ideas.
The master of mix and match, you're always coming up with unique combinations.
You are good at getting a group to reach consensus. |

| Your Career Type: Artistic |
You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.
You would make an excellent:
Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor
The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary. |
| You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream | You are kind, popular, and generous.
You tend to be successful at anything you try.
A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd.
You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream. |
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